In Which Natalie is Buffeted by the Universe…

Ouch.
So I know I said I wanted more letters… but when I said that, I did not envision my Tuesday like this:

8:00 AM- Wake up braced to deal with “difficult” student for 1.5 hours in Casaleccio… check email… see rejection from UVA before my contact lenses can clear up. Ouch.

8:33 AM- Full bus. No seats.

8:34 AM- Oh. A still HEATED full buss. With no seats. Or open windows. Begin panting.

10:00 AM- Confounded by crossword puzzle while student does listening exercise. Blast.

11:00 AM- Student pats me on the shoulder, I think only because he missed the top of my head… I know my hair was a little wild, but do I look like a spaniel to you buddy?

12:00- Enjoy soothing bath and lunch. Perk self up with catchy music and by listening to the awesome violinist who was visiting accordionist neighbor.

1:45 PM- Have newly perked-up soul crushed when unable to find favorite earrings. Harbor suspicions about the cat.

2:00 PM- Leave apartment to go to work- see envelope in mail box.

2:00:10 PM- Have heart attack when unable to unlock box while balancing bag of dirty cat litter I am taking to the trash.

2:00:15 PM-Succeed in unlocking box.

2:00:17 PM-Have another heart attack upon retrieving not one, but THREE small envelopes… plus the gas bill…

2:00:20 PM- Ponder a word strong enough for something that sucks with quadruple strength.  (The Dyson of suckage? Event horizon of suckage?)

2:01 PM- Am rejected by NYU. Confirm need to make a stronger phrase than “Dude, this SUCKS.”

2:02 PM- Am rejected by GW. Ouch.

2:03 PM- Am slightly heartened that the Cardozo envelope is a little fatter…

2:03:15 PM- Wait listed.

2:03: 20 PM- Decide that there are not adjectives strong enough for “quadruple suck.” We need a new word.

3:20 PM- Student arrives early. I hate when they do that.

3:30 PM- Establish that said student is curious to the point of hostility about the details of English grammar (“BUT WHY do we use the an THERE and not HERE?! WHY!!”).

3:31 PM- Begin watching the clock.

4:30 PM- Bid farewell to student (until class at 6:00), retreat to teacher’s lounge.

4:33 PM- Eric: “Looks like you have a pretty tough crowd in there [re: soulsucking teenagers who are congregating]. I opened the bathroom door and they all turned around FROWNING at me like they are waiting for you…”
Me: “Welcome to my Tuesday, Eric.”

4:45 PM- Me to teenagers: “Hey team! How are you all? [silence] Did everyone have a good week? [silence] Is anyone alive? [silence] Does anyone understand me? [silence] Oook. So you had homework…”

5:15 PM- Decide that today the teenagers are going to do a lot of silent reading and working on exercises.

6:00 PM- Low level class… so many questions… so many problems…

7:15 PM- Maria has chocolate!

7:30 PM- Classroom in the hinterlands has no CD player…

7:32 PM- Retrieve CD player from mainland.

7:33 PM- Trapped in courtyard. Begin knocking on window hoping a student will buzz me in.

7: 36 PM- Knuckles hurt. Buzzed in.

7:40 PM- Intern arrives. Am scolded for leaving doors open.

7:45 PM- Good class, but unsettling to have intern present.

8:50 PM- Maria has more chocolate!

9:00 PM- Time to start the last class of the day!!

9:02 PM- Write on boob of beloved shirt with white board marker. Heroically avoid hysteria.
9:45 PM- Do a listening about St. Patrick’s day.

9:46 PM- Realize that listening includes unfortunate line about leprechauns and “pinching on the behind.” Begin praying nobody will want that explained.

9:50 PM- Required to explain “pinching on the behind.”

10:15 PM- Please. For the love of God. Choose your vocabulary words so we can leave this place!

10:40 PM- Lock up and begin the trek home with Maria.

10:45 PM- See apartment on fire (or smoking). Gain perspective.

11:00 PM- Walk in door and feel so very very happy to finish this extraordinarily long  day.