Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone is having a lovely holiday! I’m far from home today, and in the spirit of the holiday, I’ve been thinking about all the things I have to be grateful for- always a long list. I’m obviously grateful for the basics (ie: my health, a roof over my head, food on my plate, clothes on my back and a computer on which to type all of this). I’m grateful for my education which is allowing me to teach English and make a living this year. I’m grateful for every spark of comprehension in the faces of my nearly sixty students, and every bit of emotion I pull from the teenagers. I’m grateful for the experience I’m having, the places I’m visiting and the things I’m doing.

But mostly, I’m exceedingly grateful for the people in my life. And I do mean every single person I encounter, from my family, my wonderful roommate, Anna, the kindly baristas at the cafe down the street, and the homeless man who sleeps on the next street  over. Perhaps the holiday season makes me a bit maudlin, but my life would be a very different story without any one of these people.

It goes without saying that I’m tremendously thankful for my family, including my parents, who always love and support me (even when I do crazy things like move to Italy for a year and abandon them during the holidays) and my brother (who loves and supports me even though I voted for Hillary in the primaries). Our family is small but I love each and every one of you so much and I wouldn’t trade you for the world (well, maybe we could talk about the dog… kidding! A bit…).

I’m also tremendously grateful for all of my friends, both old and new. They make me laugh, they make me think, and they generally make my life worth living. Earlier Anna and I were plotting the logistics of transporting and cooking for the potentially 22+ people who are going to come to our Thanksgiving feast this Saturday night. This is a tremendously daunting task, but I’m also grateful that my burden this weekend is having “too many” friends. As far as burdens go, it could be worse, huh?

All that being said, I hope your turkey is juicy (or your tofurky tasty), your dressing moist, your pumpkin pie sweet, and your day full of friends, family, and whatever makes you happiest!

Turkitty

Another new word:

Turkitty: (n.) (Origin: derived from the yuppie word “turducken” or a chicken stuffed inside a duck stuffed inside a turkey) 1. A cat stuffed inside a turkey for a holiday meal  2. What the cat will be if he does not commence with the cuddling soon.

Naturally, we kid. For three equally valid reasons, we would not eat our cat simply because he does not love us:

1) I am a vegetarian

2) That would be a gross overreaction to rejection… right?

3) It would be too difficult to catch him.

However, as he hides in very hard to reach, and therefore dusty, spots, he is sneezing frequently so we can locate him easily these days.

In other news, one of my Frowner students left the class to take private conversation classes (to which I diplomatically say, I’m glad she is getting what she wants, and it’s a shame I could not be the one to give it to her in the first place.),we are planning Thanksgiving dinner (as of now, the count is at least 13), and I have what appears to be permanent white out on my fingers.

Happy slightly early Thanksgiving to everyone in the States (or everyone abroad who celebrates it!)!

Ohhh Tuesday…

Well, today was Tuesday which means several things:

1) Today is our one week anniversary with TheBear (he had a breakthrough! He will now run from behind the fridge/ under my bed/ corner in Anna’s room to another hiding place *while we are in the room*! This is progress. Not only do we get to see his shining hissing face, but also to admire his slurking lope, and to be reminded of how chunky and cuddly he will be… one day…).

2) I progress from my least to most favorite classes, starting with The Frowners, followed by the Sullen Teenagers, followed by my Introduction class (which got a new student today… the day before the midterm), followed by my Hot Topics class (they think I’m insane… I’m starting to think they are right), and then my Favorites (who, incidentally, are the only class with perfect attendance so far!).

3) The Frowners conspire to make my life miserable. I mean, seriously folks. I drag myself out of bed, I put on clothing and makeup, I walk through the cold (there was SNOW on Monday! Madness!), and I pretend I am not asleep for you… why… WHY do you hate me when I do so much for you?! <sigh> This is the class with the two complainers I mentioned last week (complainer 1: “I want more conversation.” complainer 2: “I can’t understand the teacher.”). They have midterms soon and, as it takes them a while to grasp the grammar (and since we took a while longer than we should have to review at the beginning…), they are behind schedule… this means I do not always have time for conversation. Also, as one pointed out “The Italian for this is much easier. This is so… difficult.” I responded by saying “Well, if it weren’t difficult, I wouldn’t have a job… soooo…” So I have patiently explained the methods of my madness, I implore them to stop me when they don’t understand me, I worked in a bit of conversation today (with the promise of more to come!), and leave feeling that I have controlled the situation… then walk back through the hallway past the office to see ALL THREE of them in the office, the woman going 8 rounds with Nicoletta, the secretary! I peaced out fairly quickly (the promise of cappuccino and pastry being far more appealing than dealing with whatever in the world was happening) rather than stick around to hash it out with them. We shall see what happens. And yes, I promise I will stop complaining about them… just as soon as they stop complaining about me!

4) We are officially on for Thanksgiving this Saturday night (our first available afternoon/evening)! We are staging an invasion of Giulio’s kitchen and hope to pull it off (on the plus side, if we bomb Thanksgiving for Italians, how will they know? Mwahahaha). There could be anywhere from 8-22 people eating… wish us luck- this will be the first solo Thanksgiving for both Anna and me. On the plus side, we found a butcher today with turkeys!! Our adventure went something like this (loose translation from the Italian):

Natalie: Oo! Look! There’s a turkey in that window!

Anna: Excellent!

(We enter the butcher shop. I adopt an awkward vegetarian’s stance among carcasses.)

Anna: Hi! We need a turkey on Saturday!

Kindly Butcher: We have turkeys. There’s one in the window right now.

Anna: Well, there are going to be a lot of people chewing on this bird… do you have a bigger turkey?

Kindly Butcher: Well… we have a masculine bird… It’s big… I can show you how big it is…

Natalie: Bring it on!

(Butcher clears block, goes to back of store to dig in large fridge… wrestles with poultry roughly the size of a small vehicle, brings it to front, and slams it on block with a hearty pat on its back.)

Anna and Natalie: Wow!! (Laughter) THAT is a turkey.

Kindly Butcher: (A charmed “I told you so!” look on his face) So. The Masculine birds are a bit bigger, this is a feminine bird (1/2 size).

Anna: Um. We are going to … check on the size of the oven…

Natalie: Maybe… two small birds? Maybe…?

All: (Laughter… gigantic dinosaur bird carcass still confronting us)

Anna: So you’ll have a turkey on Saturday?

Kindly Butcher: I’ll have a turkey on Saturday!

Anna and Natalie: (still in shock at the sight of a bird which, in life, could have killed us) Bye! Thanks! See you Saturday!

5) Andrea is visiting soon! I’ll be trying to organize lists and schedule cooking stuff, but I’m thrilled to have her here! And I’m eternally grateful to Anna for subbing for my Friday evening class so I can do the airport run and hang out!

6) Tomorrow is my day to sleep in! I try to be graceful about it as Anna has another early day… but boy am I looking forward to a relaxing bath in the morning!

7) Yes, Mom- pictures are coming, but we have to clean the apartment first! Don’t worry, we don’t live in squalor, just occasional clutter.

9 -1) If anyone has any Thanksgiving planning/cooking tips and shortcuts (as we will not be able to start cooking until about 2:00 PM at the earliest… happily Italian dinner times accommodate a late start!), they would be greatly appreciated in comment or email form!

9) The previous point was 9-1 because apparently wordpress thinks that an 8 followed by a ) means this: (and I hope that shows up as a sunglasses-wearing smiley face as it did on my computer…)

10) There is a positively gigantic Christmas tree in Piazza Maggiore (well, Piazza del Nettuno). Pictures following eventually.

11) After wandering the Chocolate Festival on Sunday, Tiffany taught me how to purl (yes, I’m an old woman, I knit. Poorly, but I knit! And now with TWO stitches in my repertoire!).

And that’s the news from Bologna on this chilly and gray Tuesday night!

How Do You Say “Suicidal Cat” in Italian?

Thursdays are generally nice days for me- they start early, end late, but it is the only day I don’t teach bambini, I am awake early enough to have a cappuccino and pastry, and there is a nice long gap before my next class. I also end the day with my favorite group of students. So, all in all, Thursdays should be nice, right? Well, this one got off to a rocky start at about 2:00 AM and sloped gently downhill from there. Allow me to walk you through it.

Anna and I went to bed late- I had been glossing the first 30 or so minutes of Rounders to show my class today (totally legitimate use of movie day- we’ve been discussing gambling), and was settling to sleep trying to think of ways to explain the phrase “three stacks of high society” to my class when I hear a clattering thump from the bathroom (where the cat had taken to slurking behind the toilet). I am startled, but identify the noise as a shampoo bottle falling to its doom and roll over. An hour later, there are more clatters, shaving about 5 years off my life as I jump awake. Again, I figure the cat is just being a cat and roll over. Cut to about 3:31 AM- more clattering, some actual noise of cat distress, and I woke up so suddenly I’m pretty sure I grew gray hairs. I decide to actually check on him this time, and stagger into the bathroom, turn on the light, and see what looks like the world’s smallest murder scene (mostly because our bathroom is really small)- blood smeared all over the tub, shampoo strewn across the floor, and a very scared and defensive cat crouching behind the bidet beside the toilet paper. Anna joined me at this point (as I may have exclaimed something along the lines of “Sweet Jesus! The cat is dead!”…), and we decided that we should throw a towel over the cat and try to determine where he was hurt and how badly. Have you ever tried to throw a towel over a scared and recently coagulated cat? Don’t. He bolted through the door, spitting, and wound up crouched in a small space beside the front door. Where we decided to leave him.

I woke up this morning tired, grouchy, and with my contacts sticking to my eyeballs (is there a worse feeling in the world? I am not so sure.), but I roll out of bed, dutifully put on clothes, help Anna ascertain that the cat has hidden in her clothes closet on her pile of scarves, bundle against the glacial winds outside and trudge to work. I’m afraid I was poor company on the walk to work, (and any of you who know my disposition towards being cold or sleepy know that both at once is a deadly combination) and my mood became even more foul as I realized that, by leaving a few minutes late, we had no time for coffee. Also, my Tuesday and Thursday morning class is the one populated by the students I think of as “the frowners,” for obvious reasons. Basically, they don’t usually give me much reason to get out of bed in the morning.

So we arrive at the school, I gather my books, deposit them in my classroom in a haze, and am just turning to return to the teachers’ room to gird my loins for the task ahead when Nicoletta pops her head into the classroom and beckons me into the office. I know this is not going to be fun when she closes the door behind her. Apparently one of the three students in the class complained that we are not doing enough conversation, while another one complained that he cannot understand me. Nicoletta is nice and just tells me to try to do more conversation, but I’m vaguely incensed. We trot into the classroom where uncomprehending student is waiting and he and Nicoletta have a bit of a chat in Italian that I try to follow and I understand “I asked her to speak more slowly, but she doesn’t listen to me!” Hey buddy, I’m standing right here. Nicoletta tries to placate him, then leaves and I try to explain to him and my third student (other complainer was not there today) that because they are at an intermediate level, I do speak faster than in other classes and I do use higher register language because it’s good for them to be pushed. However, as I said in the beginning and always remind them, STOP ME if you don’t understand me! SIGH. So we proceed with one of the more frustrating hour and 15 minute chunks of my life, after which I plunked the grammar book down onto the shelf with a satisfying thump, and got a tasty coffee and pastry. Life has improved. Mostly because of coffee.

My soul greatly lifted by caffeine and sugar, Anna and I go home to check on our cat and to have a bite of lunch. We realized a couple things upon a closer inspection of the “crime scene” that is our bathroom:

1. The cat is likely not going to hide in the bathroom anymore.
2. We had been so distracted by the devastation in the bathtub that we hadn’t noticed the blood smears on the WALL and CEILING, leading us to conclude that he did NOT step on a razor, but that he was trying to a) escape or b) kill pigeons on the skylight by jumping for the roof, failing, and cutting himself on the clothes rack.
3. We were seriously overdue for a mopping in there.
4. My pumice stone was behind the bidet.

Ok, I’m not saying that ALL our discoveries were important, but they were discoveries nonetheless. So we have cleaned the bathroom, ascertained that the cat is now under my bed, and are braced and ready for the marathon evening of teaching… starting now!

Slurking

I have invented a new word.

slurk: (v.) to simultaneously sulk and lurk, often pertaining to teenagers or animals. (ex.: Our cat is still slurking behind the refrigerator.)

The good news is that he definitely came out from behind the fridge while I was teaching and 1) found his litter box and 2) ate something. Anna and I are moving into Operation: Forced Cuddling later this evening.

Other good news is that the Chocolate Festival is now open in Piazza Maggiore! I have yet to dive into this world of wonderful and dangerous things, but we have a bit of a buco (a hole) in our schedule tomorrow morning… perfect for exploring (and snacking…).

Gatto!

We have a cat! Today we brought home TheBear (yes, that is his name, one word, capital T and B)! He is currently under my bed… acclimating to the new environment (aka: fretting silently). We are happy to have found him there because after returning from school he appeared to have vanished… how does one lose a 15 pound cat in a tiny apartment with the windows closed? Turns out, by neglecting to notice that he is wedged into the approximately 5 inches between the top of my suitcase and the bottom of my mattress… where he remains. I’m going to sleep soon, so I’m a little concerned that I’ll crush him, but hopefully he will have a strong enough sense of self-preservation to move if it comes to that…

Coming home

That is the two of us in the backseat of Riccardo’s car- Anna and I thought that the small porthole on top of the cat carrier would surely be fine to open, because, let’s face it, TheBear is a bit of a fatty, so surely he wouldn’t be able to squeeze out! Not so, my friends, not so. Cats = ferrets, snakes, and other maliable members of the animal kingdom. So that’s why I have him in a half nelson as he squeezes his way towards freedom…

At any rate! That’s the biggest news around here these days. Classes are going well, my good friend Andrea is coming to visit next weekend, I’m apparently going to lead small children on a field trip on Saturday afternoon (what?!), and we are waiting for the cat to get used to his surroundings and become the cuddly creature we know he is!

As a parting gift, I leave you with this tidbit (I’m particularly fond of the title and the last line, because any article that must state that “Police haven’t said what type of sandwich is involved,” is surely one for the ages.):

Man Nabbed After Hitting Girlfriend With Sandwich

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (AP) — A man faces a domestic battery charge after allegedly hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich as she was driving on Interstate 95 on Friday. Police said the 19-year-old man became angry and hit the woman in the arm and face with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off.

The victim nearly lost control of the car because she couldn’t see the road and the man then allegedly ripped off the rear-view mirror and used it to shatter the windshield.

The man was freed on $7,500 bail.

Police haven’t said what type of sandwich was involved.

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-ODD-Sandwich-Assault.html?_r=1

A Happy Day

So, I don’t want to read too much into nature, but when I woke up this morning, the sun was shining for the first time in about a week. Coincidence? Perhaps, but isn’t that nice?

This evening I had my students (a group of very advanced 15 year olds) listen to and read Obama’s victory speech in class today. They’re a fairly taciturn group (a little too cool for school), but good kids, so usually after letting silence sit for a minute or so, they come up with some good comments. After listening to the speech, we had the usual chorus of blank stares from which I tried to elicit commentary (initially like drawing blood from a stone), but then something delightful happened… they started talking about their favorite parts of the speech.

One girl loved the very first paragraph: “If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.”

Another girl was moved by the message of unity in the third: “It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled — Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of red states and blue states; we are, and always will be, the United States of America.”

One of the boys related to Obama’s more international message: “And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world — our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. “

The other boy liked the story of Anna Nixon Cooper, the 106 year old Atlanta woman, and the century of change she witnessed:

“She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn’t vote for two reasons — because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin. And tonight, I think about all that she’s seen throughout her century in America — the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can’t and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes, we can. At a time when women’s voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes, we can.
When there was despair in the Dust Bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes, we can. When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes, we can. She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that “We Shall Overcome.” Yes, we can.
A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes, we can. America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves: If our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?”

I was particularly stirred by his final statements: “This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time — to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.”

But I think the most important message we can take from this speech is the following: “As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, ‘We are not enemies, but friends… Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.’”

So, in that spirit, I look forward to the next four year chapter of our nation’s story with the hope that it will be full of bright days like today.

Happy Election Day!

More news from Italy! As I’m teaching about 30 hours/week, my life has become fairly regular, so there isn’t always a lot of new and exciting stuff to share, but here are some unrelated tidbits!

• Today is election day! In celebration (and in the hope of spreading some vague understanding of the electoral process to the rest of the world), I’ve been chatting with all my classes (well, those who understand that much English) about it. This conversation ranges depending on the class- sometimes we have a chat about the polling numbers, and others become Civics 101 complete with an illustration of the three branches of government and the bicameral Congressional system. Crazy stuff!
• I got paid yesterday! It’s been a while since I’ve been paid in cash, so I had forgotten just how much holding a roll of 50’s and 100’s (euros, no less!) makes one feel like a drug lord (I assume). On the plus side, since I’m constantly working, I’ll have no time to spend said cash, and will thus be saving! How responsible am I?
• I was apparently called for jury duty back home… it’s really uncanny, I am beginning to suspect that Fulton County keeps track of me and only pulls my name for jury duty when I’m out of state…
• It’s raining cats and dogs over here, but Bologna is happily covered in portici so I can dart across the city in relative comfort. I have now converted to the native Bolognaise point of view that cities lacking portici are mere barbarian encampments- civilization dwells under a portico.
• My class of 11-12 year olds is becoming unruly… I am adopting many fondly remembered grade school teacher admonitions (“I can see you, I’m sitting three inches away from you.” “Let her answer the question, it’s not your turn,” and “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear your answer because the boys were being too loud.” Coming soon to a classroom near you, Madame Kohn’s infamous “If you do not stop that I am going to SIT ON YOUR HEAD!”).
• I’ve taken to making hummus using a garlic press to mash the chickpeas… it takes a while, but it’s a little zen… and also results in tasty hummus!

And that’s all for now, folks! It’s lunchtime now, so let the foraging begin!

Don’t forget to vote today!